Bartender jokes12/15/2023 What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!.What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.Where does Batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner's on me.Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch cold.I wanted to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any.What kind of candy do astronauts like? Mars bars.What's an egg's favorite vacation spot? New Yolk City.Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals.What did the dirt say to the rain? If you keep this up, my name will be mud!.Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken.Let's be honest, I'm not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either. I was going to tell you a joke about boxing but I forgot the punch line.What falls, but never needs a bandage? The rain.Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes! Many are one-liners so you can remember them to share and share again, and your kids can retell them to their friends too, maybe even years later. But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? Others might even make you laugh so hard you cry, so don't say we didn't warn you. Get ready: Some of what's to come is quite punny. In addition to the 70 jokes below, we've also got dad jokes, jokes for kiddos, mom jokes, and jokes for holidays that you can share them with the youngest person in the room (be sure to bookmark our April Fool's jokes for next year!) And you don't have to worry about these being clean: All of our favorite jokes are fit for kids and adults. You'll be sure to brighten someones day when you unleash a hilarious joke when they least expect it. © 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc.Need a laugh? We found the funniest jokes around to tell all of your friends and family. “Everything out of your mouth is a lie!” Jost fires back moments before Santos took another supposed phone call, using a baby as a receiver, to discuss plans for Friendsgiving with Martha Stewart. Santos, who has said he will not run for reelection in 2024, then faked a phone call from Pink, Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, and Mya about taking on a role in a sequel to “Lady Marmalade.” “Isn’t Congress kind of like OnlyFans anyways? People paying you to do nasty things on a sad, bad livestream?” “This has not been a good week for you,” Jost said before listing off the questionable purchases made with thousands of Santos’ campaign dollars, which include subscriptions for the amateur porn site OnlyFans, Botox, and purchases made at Sephora and Hermes. Santos, portrayed by Bowen Yang, was questioned by Weekend Update co-host Colin Jost following a scathing ethics report released last week that revealed the lyin’ Long Island Republican abused his campaign funds for his own personal pleasures. George Santos’ campaign’s dubious spending on things like OnlyFans and Botox and poked fun at panda diplomacy overshadowing President Joe Biden’s summit with his Chinese counterpart. NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” delved into Rep. ‘SNL’ sends love to Dana Carvey after son Dex’s death as Carvey takes break from acting We found the best prices for Chevy Chase’s ‘Christmas Vacation’ tourĪdam Sandler reveals why Roseanne Barr refused to sing ‘The Chanukah Song’ on ‘SNL’ What do the cheapest tickets cost to see Noah Kahan on tour in 2024?
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